Thursday, 24 December 2009


On the fifth December 2008 I set myself some targets. Some unlikely targets, yes, but, some targets all the same. Some, inevitably, I failed at (story of my life). But some were achieved rather successfully. I managed to prostitute myself online reasonably well, using twitter and facebook as a suitable medium. Whoa, you think, I thought this was a family-friendly, happy-go-lucky type of blog. When I say 'prostitute' I mean shamelessly advertise my blog(s). Another of my targets I overshot by a long way. I aimed to have written 52 blog posts during 2009. This, my friend (or casual acquaintance, or even complete stranger), this is my 103rd post of 2009. If I write one more by next Thursday, I will have double the amount that I wished for. In 2009 I have:
and I have shared it with the world. Needless to say, 2009 was quite a busy year. In 2009, a total 126 comments have been written on blog (I counted them, oh yes) as I shared my bin-day dramas with you all. For this I thank you. Perhaps you are thinking, "he's done it, he's written 103 posts. Surely he'll give up. Please, let it be so."

Oh no my friend, oh no. You can't escape my inane drivel that easily (actually, it's a lot simpler than you think. Just don't read it). But I'm going to set myself some more targets. I have a few ideas up my sleaves (as well as flour, I've just been making pastry for mince pies), which shall be announced first thing on 1st January 2010. Forget counting down and singing Auld Laug Syne, you will be hovering over your computers to see what I have in store for 2010. Yeh, I bet.

Merry Christmas, folks.

Saturday, 19 December 2009

O Christmas Tree

Today I have put up my (almost) carbon neutral Christmas Tree. How come it's carbon neutral? you might ask. Well, I reply, it only travelled the distance of a few metres to my house. It was a baby tree that we bought about ten years ago, and now it's one big Christmas tree. It may not be the most perfectly formed tree ever, it may be a bit crooked. But I love it.

It's also better for the environment because after we've finished with it (assuming it doesn't die), it'll just go back where it came from and we'll dig it up again next year.

As quaint and nice as it sounds, it was a bit of an effort to get it there. First of all was the digging it up. This involved, digging, pulling and sawing. Then there was the potting of it. We went to the garden centre, bought a pot and came back to find the pot was too small. So we dashed back to the garden centre and bought another one. Unfortunately, that means there was an unnecessary amount of carbon emission in those trips to the garden centre. We also bought a bag of compost, which had frozen into tombstone. But after a lot of decorating and subsequent cleaning we now have a pretty Christmas Tree.

Friday, 18 December 2009

Conversations with my blog...

I sometimes like to imagine I can have conversations with my blog. I'm a bit strange like that. If it stops us being friends, then I'm sorry. If my blog could speak I think the conversation would go like this:

Blog: All by myse-e-elf. Don't wanna be, all by myseeeeeelf, anymoooooore.
Me: Hello, blog.
Blog: Oh, look what the cat dragged in.
Me: Someone's in a mood.
Blog: Really, I wonder why that would be. Perhaps because I've not heard hide or hair of you for months.
Me: One month. Don't exaggerate.
Blog: One month, fifteen days.
Me: You've been counting?
Blog: Well, I've had nothing better to do. The only company I've had is A.L.I.C.E. and she's plain odd.
Me: Oh.
Blog: Well, what you been up to? NaNoWriMo?
Me: No, I gave up in the second week.
Blog: Sounds familiar.
Me: What do you mean?
Blog: Well, it's obvious you have commitment issues.

Okay, you get the picture. Reading back, it sounds like something out of really bad American 1980s day time television. I think it works best if you give my blog a New York-Jewish accent.

In other news
It is the Christmas Holidays! I have survived my first full half-term at Totton College, as well as my first staff Christmas Meal. Lots of wine was consumed, a lot of crackers pulled, a lot of inappropriate comments made. At the moment I have SSB (Seasonal Silly Brain), which is characterised by a loss in processing skills and fine and gross motor skills, weight gain and lethargy, but also a warm fuzzy feeling. That sounds a bit like I'm drunk. I never blog drunk ("Well, that explains a lot!" my blog exclaims).

Have a Merry Christmas!