Dear Software...

Dear software,

You seem like a good idea at the time. You promise such things. A virus free computer. Being able to play tetris on the internet. Podcast streaming. Oh, how you wooed me.

But let's get one thing straight.

If you require another piece of software to run: I will uninstall you.
If you add any toolbars to my web browser: I will unistall you.
If you automatically open at start up and slow down my computer: I will uninstall you.
If you update without my permission and crash my computer: I will uninstall you.
If you take too long to download: I will uninstall you.
If you so much as have one ugly icon, I WILL UNINSTALL YOU.

Got that?

Yours cordially,

Me

Telling me how to speak

I like to think I have a decent grasp of the English language. I can use both formal and informal speech, appropriately changing my modes and styles for different situations. This is why I hate it when people tell me how to speak.

Somebody rebuked me for saying "me and Stephen" about a certain situation. I was not writing an essay, I was not speaking to the Queen, I was not giving a Nobel Prize acceptance speech (only one of which I have done: guess which), therefore formal language was not required. I am full aware of the difference between subjective pronouns and objective pronouns and can utilise them both effectively. So, in short, if you correct me I will think you are patronising me. And being patronised is something that I take great umbrage with.

Some people have certain bugbears with usages of words. 'Random', 'epic', 'fail' are to name a few. I like this words and use them frequently. Just because people use different words than you doesn't make it wrong. One individual announced their dislike for the use of the word 'times' (for instance, when someone says "good times", or "bad times"). I think they have Dickens to blame for that.
Do not oppress me with me with your semantic elitism. If the vernacular was good enough for Chaucer, it is good enough for me.

Awesome

The May Ball was last night and it was AWESOME. The Zutons were really cool, and I enjoyed dancing like a loser. At the moment I am 1/10 of the way through packing my room and my parents come at 1 (that's two hours, people). The house is a mess. My room is a mess. Life is a mess. Thank God for Jesus, is all I can say to that.

Speaking of Jesus, I'm getting really anxious about my job situation. What has that got to do with Jesus? I hear you ask. Well, probably I wont actually hear you because a) you're probably out of earshot and b) you possibly already know about the job interview I had. I applied for a job at a church in Oxford, and I want to know if I've got it. I don't think I have. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I'd be cool but I did like the other candidates. They were nice. Okay, less of the random ranting. I have a habit of verbalising my random thought processes, now I've begun to type them.

I'm tired and ill and I have a random ironing board in my room. It is a rubbish ironing board. As a matter of fact, I'm going to save this post as a draft, take a photo of said ironing board and post it up. Because I'm cool like that. Note the fiendish holes in the cover. That was how the board was when we arrived, and I had to iron my shirt on it. What you can't observe is that it also likes to collapse. Okay, this has got to be perhaps the most random post ever in the history of blogging.

I hate bin days.

Yes another bin day rant. This time at my own stupidity.

At 10:05 (ish) I panicked realising that there was a huge pile of full bin bags by the back door that needed going out so I rushed out in bear feet, getting garbage juice all over them and flung them out (well, actually placed them outside) the garden gate. Smug with my ability to be organised and actually remember, a) what day of the week it was, and b) what day bin day was, and c) put them together, I sat down at the dining table to do dissertation.

Only when I heard the beeping noise and the sound of 'Please stand clear. Vehicle reversing. Please stand clear. Vehicle reversing. Please...' did I think to look in the kitchen bin. It was full. Crammed full. So I took the bag out of the bin, and as it was cheap Simply Value ones it was tearing! But I got it struggled, succeeded and tied it up. I can make it! I thought. I ran out the back door. The rubbish truck was only outside the gate. I can do this! I got to the gate. I fumbled on the combination padlock to get it open. I fumbled some more. I'm nearly there. Oh no, I knock the second number out alignment! Okay, problem solved. Why isn't the padlock opening? Oh the first number is out now! Come on! I open the gate. I was too late, the rubbish truck was already half-way up the road. I wasn't going to run up the back alley, barefoot, sprayed in refuge juice, screaming 'STOP! TAKE MY RUBBISH! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF HYGIENE, TAKE IT!'. I have some dignity. So I closed the gate and slunk back to the muted noise of 'Please stand back, Vehicle reversing'.

Turkish Baths and The Boat That Rocked

Okay, the Turkish Bath part may be a bit misleading, but I'll explain it now. I'm back at home, and enjoying the home comforts of food, TV and seeing my relatives. The house, though, is not particularly tidy. It is not due to slovenly behaviour (like that of my student friends), but more redecorating chaos. There is one thing in particular I do not like about being home. It is the downstairs power shower. It officially hates me. Whenever the sound of the whirring noise changes I know the shower is preparing to spite me. The is no rhyme or reason in what is about to happen. It just does. After the noise as change the shower suddenly sprays me with either ridiculously hot or cold water. Then after thirty seconds it sprays me with the temperature it hasn't done so yet. So the effect is like that of the cold plunge pool followed by the sauna.

Last night I went to see The Boat that Rocked. The experience was unusual because I saw only two days after it's release, rather than the standard 32 in Aberystwyth (random fact: I can't type Aberystwyth properly). It was alright. The performances weren't bad, the storyline was not overly boring and the sinking scenes were quite fun. After that we went to a very posh restaurant for food, which was very nice. (Another random fact: when using the spell-checker the nearest word it can find to Aberystwyth is abreast.)

A load of rubbish

Today, I didn't get up and put the bins out. You may think that it was slack of me, because obviously it was my turn and I missed it. No, it was not my turn. It must be someone elses turn by now. Only once has someone else put the bins out. If I'm away, the bins don't go out, if I forget (which rarely happens), the bins don't go out. Today I overslept. I just didn't want to get out of bed, so I thought that maybe, just maybe, someone else will do it.

To be honest, the reason I overslept was because I didn't get to bed until late. That is because I'm making a present for a friend, and I sort of got excited and didn't stop until 2am. Whoops.

Oh well. Perhaps if I go to sleep and wake up again, I'll realise it had all been a bad dream. The bins, did in fact go out, and also some one else washed the tea-towels. That'd be nice.

Bad Idea

Sometimes I think it's a bad idea to have wireless connection. Or internet at that matter. My ability to focus on my work is greatly impeded, as you can tell. I have a 3000 word essay to write for Monday, and I'm finding it difficult to get down and do.

Anyway, the lent thing is going well, except yesterday I think I fell short by 5-15 minutes. I forgot to time, lost track etc. However, people have been sending me their prayer requests. But I still want more, people. That way I will feel accountable, and it will encourage me to pray. This lent idea has blessed me greatly, and I'm really beginning to appreciate the Bible so much more now. It is a really amazing book. However, there is still a part of me that sees it as a chore, and not as a joy (which another part does), so I'm going to have to stamp that bit out quickly. Through Genesis alone God exhibits his faithfulness, grace, mercy, love, compassion and wrath. It is quite awesome.

I really want Blogger to sort out the line breaks. I know what it is, it's the the text alignment codes that mess it up. I hate having to go into Edit Html every time and sort it out. And when you add images.

Yesterday a group of us watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It was quite good, but very long. It is framed by a sort of death-bed confession just before Hurricane Katrina rages through New Orleans. It concerns a man that is born 80 years old and get younger, rather than aging. It is really moving in places, and it is filled with both hope and sadness. Some of our party saw it as a waste of two and a half hours of their life, which they'll never get back (somewhat ironic with the subject matter of the film).

The film score was remarkably good, but very characteristic of Alexandre Desplat. It had the same sort of haunting themes, with the bright, sharp and simple melodies and softly scored string accompaniments as The Painted Veil. In places he makes use of modal passages in order to create the fantastical and dream-like quality (which I think is used as a theme of Daisy), and often rises towards dissonance to give a sense of poignancy. The instrumentation is interesting, especially in Love in Murnansk. But enough of my musical analysis.

Christmas

Yes, the festive time is here. The nights are getting darker, the weather colder; but there is still something special that is in the air.



So here are some things that I like about Christmas:

1. Realising you forgot to eat yesterday's advent chocolate, so you have an extra one to eat.


2. Making someone happy by buying a really nice present.


3. Feeling the love when you receive your presents.


4. Being around family and friends.


5. Remember the true meaning of Christmas: that Jesus was born 2000 years ago and 33 years later died to save the world.

However there are three things I do not like about Christmas:

1. Commercialism: the major companies have hijacked this festival for their own ends.


2. Christmas Shopping: it is far too stressful.


3. People getting annoyed at Christians. This one may sound bizarre, but it is my pet peeve. When I was in Australia (not during Christmas time, I might add) a lady on the radio said 'I hate it when I'm Christmas shopping there are people singing Christmas Carols, ramming their religion down my throat.' This is why this statement annoyed me. Actually there are three reasons. First, not all Christmas Carol singers are Christians, and that was a sweeping generalisation. Second, this lady is allowed to celebrate a Christian festival anyway she wishes, but Christians aren't. Third, as she is celebrating a Christian festival I don't think that it would be a wrong to assume that she has some religious beliefs, or at least invests in the traditions of a religious festival. So she is a stinking hypocrite.

That rant over adieu.

Mend and make-do

Here is the punch line: I have very little money. This is how this is reached through logic. A: Students have no money. B: I am a student. C: I am a student therefore I have no money. Okay, non sequitur I know. But it is true, so to deny it would be an argument from fallacy. So there.

After that written raspberry, so to speak, I explain one noticable side effect. My footwear's condition has somewhat decayed. The sole of one pair of shoes has lost its integrity, and therefore draws water up more effectively than an Archimedes screw, whereas the other is in tatters. So just now I have just fixed the latter pair using the traditional cobbling method of double-sided sticky tape. Yes, that is what is seperating the ground from my feet. Sticky-tape.

So I thought I would share my finance and footwear problems.

I've noticed also that I tend to moan a lot in my blogs, and can be a bit stroppy. So I apologise, and will try to be more possitive. And if I can't manage it?

Deal with it.

Farewells, fun and food

Ah such a busy week. I will go back to just a bit before I wrote 'Frostbite and Friends', so in other words to last Thursday.

So after the Harry Potter party I slept in to about midday, and then went to Banana Club. Banana Club is something that my church runs for children aged 5-11. It was quite enjoyable, but some of the children are, naturally, difficult to handle. However, Sam, my friend, and I are always looking after the youngest group, the 5-7s. They are quite adorable. One of them asked me whether I would be his dad, and if it wasn't for the abduction charges I would have easily consented.

Friday, I think I got up late again. But it was a baking day, as the Christian Union was putting on a pudding party. However, I don't think my puddings were actually that good, but I was distracted. About 9 I went to Rachael's, my girlfriend, house (although she was already at mine) to attend a farewell party of a friend called Rishel, who was returning to India. It was really fun, and we ended up dancing in Pier (a nightclub) until about 2am.

Saturday was the annual Stable Trail at St Mikes, which is where children are lead to different scenes of the nativity. I was a Wise Man (number 1, I'd like to add). So that meant I spent 4 hours telling children the meaning of the gifts, cleaning up shredded paper that had been thrown across the side-chapel and smiling. By the end I was grumpy. As in really grumpy. Kids I'm okay with, you have to expect kids to make things that little bit more difficult for you. It's the parents that begin getting on my nerves. They're just so annoying. For one part the kids had to root through a trough of shredded paper to find parts of a star jigsaw thing. Towards the end, because the groups were so large we got about 3 of the children to do this, but naturally others would join in. What irritated me the most was that the parents encouraged their children to do this, rather than trying to keep things slightly less chaotic. Also, whilst their child decided that they would wreak havoc by littering the whole room with shredded paper, they'd just stand back. Also the parents would be quite demanding, insisting we'd attend to their child's needs whilst trying to help about 10 other children. Then one parent stood/sat/walk across/ruined the star jigsaw thing. Fools! But still, I enjoyed it, and it just goes to show that you shouldn't go dancing (or convulsing in my case) until the early house if you have to help with children and their idiots of parents the day after.

After the stable trail I went to the pudding party for about twenty minutes and then went home and slept for a full 17 hours. Yes, from 9pm until 2pm. After getting up at 2 on Sunday I went to Rachael's and then to church, where I attend two services, the main normal one and the Student Carol Service. It somehow became my role to serve the mince pies and teas etc., then order the clean up effort despite being in no way involved in what was going on. C'est la vie.

Monday, for a change I got up at 6. Monday was to be the day of the St. Mike's Christmas Ball. Yey! It was so much fun, despite the food not being fantastic. However, it was somewhat bittersweet at the end, I was really tired so wanted to go home, but also wanted to continue as this is probably the last Ball I'll attend (although there may be plans to return next year for it).

Yesterday, being Tuesday, was quite a good day. I went to a dissertation meeting with my tutor, who also happens to be the Head of Department. It was quite encouraging as she said I seemed well prepared, which was news to me. We also spoke Masters, but I shall probably discuss that in another post. However, she did say it was worth pursuing as I'm 'obviously academically gifted'. That was nice. Then I went to a Research Seminar on the reading experiences of those in the Middle ages, which was actually really interesting and dispelled a lot of myths about that period that I've adopted.

After that I went to the Links (the university's St John's Ambulance division) Christmas Meal, which was tasty and fun. After that I returned to Rachael's and we chatted.

Today, I woke up a 3am, went to the loo twice, tried to sleep some more, then tried to work and then got distracted by facebook, Stephen's post, and then writing my own. It is now 7am, and I think I need more sleep.

So, to use a salutation as a valediction,

Good morning.